Hi avid readers! I just want some advice about my relationship with my partner. Our love story began at a ônê-night stând. Both drunk, something happened, and tried out being in a relationship, then soon ended up having a baby.
He was this ‘palabiro’ type-of-guy ever since, and isa ‘yon sa nagustuhan ko sa kaniya but then one day, he just changed.
I don’t know kung p0stpârtum d3pr3ssi0n ko lang ba ito or what, but every time he jokes around at his friends na kaya niyang mambabae and that men can change their wives easily, ay naiinis ako.
I would always confront him that sometimes jokes can hurt someone’s feelings, but he would just say that I don’t have a trust on him. I do trust him. Really.
But is it jokes are half meant? I mean, when you hurt someone even though they did or did not say it directly then you should stop what you are doing.
But in our case, we would fight over it and he can easily decide that he would leave us and I would always beg not to.
Hindi ko alam if sa ‘kin ba ‘yong mali by not letting him say sorry to me every time we fought, or it’s him not even bothering to tell me how sorry he is.
He don’t hurt me physically, but emotionally? I can tell you, I’ve got to the point where I want to k!ll myself in front of him. I don’t think it’s love anymore. I can’t feel it.
I’m not dūmb enough not to know what he might be doing. His actions and mood swings towards me is enough proof. But I can’t just leave him.
He’s been a good father and a good provider. Isn’t it what women wants for a husband? He got it.
But what about me? Until when am I going to be like this? Pretending to be okay and don’t have the right to stood up for myself.
I’m tired of it. But, I’ve got a kid who depends on me. I can sacrifice my happiness for my kid’s happiness.
We can truly forget about ourselves once this little angel comes into our lives, right, mommies out there?
But I want to still have your advices. I just want to clear my mind off of this sh*ts that’s been bugging me.
Don’t normalize this men, us women being hûrt and you don’t care. Our mental health is also your priority, men. Please keep that in mind.
Anya, 2016, *Confidential