Hi, I am Fayye. I am Jazz’s sister-in-law, me and his Kuya are married on April 20, 2021. This confession is for my heroes and a little recap on what happened in the year 2020. It was my most painful, fearful, and very much traumatizing year for me and Jyle (my husband).
After we got home from the hospital, tumira muna ako sa mismong bahay namin until I found out that I am really carrying my child. Umuwi ako kila Jyle, at tumira until now. Hindi naging madali para sa akin ang pamamalagi sa tahanang ito dahil bumabalik and lahat sa akin. Napapatulala at hindi makakain, ayoko ring pumunta sa kusina kung saan naganap ang lahat. Pero hindi sumuko ang magkapatid para maka-recover ako. Hanggat maaari ay hindi sila aalis sa tabi ko.
They really took the responsibility to take good care of me, like what Jyle promised to my parents and they never fail my family to trust them in this situation. Habang tumatagal ay nababawasan ang sakit dahil sa kabutihan ng dalawang ito, ang swerte ko. Salamat sa Diyos dahil hindi niya ako hinayaang mawala at nakita ko kung paano lumaki ng maayos ang dalawang ito sa kabila ng kawalang hiyaan ng kanilang Ama.
Lumilipas ang araw ay may sakit pa rin ngunit alam kong ako ay naghihilom na, thank you Jazz and Jyle for all the sacrifices even though you’re struggling too from what happened. I can say that I am so blessed for having this two man with me since that incident happened. They’re always on my side especially in times that I am falling into pieces.
There are times that I want to ênd this life but, how lucky I am having them beside me and not even once they never get tired of my sleepless night crying in trauma. Unless it’s very important matters to do and so they will ask my parents to look after me even though I am assuring them that I can do it, I understand that they only want what’s best for me. I am sorry for putting you in this situation Jazz and Jyle, I never wanted you two to suffer from what your father did to me. I am also thankful that you’re never raised to be like him.
Thank you for helping me to recover from the pain and trauma it caused me, I realized that I have to help myself because you two are also suffering yet, you never think twice to help me in this. I want you to know that, this is not your fault, Mahal. I know you’re blaming yourself from what happened, but please, no. It’s not you, and it will never be you. You’re way better than your Father. You’re being a father to your sibling, to Jazz, and to Freya.
You treated her as your real daughter, thank you. I don’t know if this words are enough to express how grateful I am. I am always looking to you and Freya, you look the same. Parang bago mangyare yun ay nakapagplano pa tayo kung ilan ang anak natin but now, unexpectedly Freya came but I never ever regret to continue having her. I know you’re always there for me and Freya, Mahal. Kahit alam ko napakaagang responsibilidad neto para sayo at kay Jazz, napakabait ninyong magkapatid. Konti na lang, malayang-malaya na ako sa nangyare noon dahil sa tulong ninyo. Nakakapanghina minsan, pero lalaban at lalaban para sainyong tatlo.
To Jazz,
Ading, thank you for your patience and kindness to me and to your pamangkin. If it’s not because of you baka wala na ako sa Mundo. I thank Him for giving Jyle a very understanding and responsible sibling, and that is you. Continue to do what is right, Jazz. All the pain that you felt through this journey, is worth it. Go fulfill all of your dreams in life, you can make it. Me, Kuya, Freya and Mama El is here to support you all the way through, like how you supported ate when she’s breaking into pieces.
To Jyle,
Mahal, I am always thankful for having you. I am sorry that this caused you pain to endure forever. I know you will forever blame yourself and your Father. Mahal, I can make it kasi andyan ka and Freya. You’re all my inspiration, please don’t get tired of me for I am still stressing and battling with my emotions. Konti pa Mahal, malaya na tayo. What happened was not because of you, it happened for a reason. Thank you for the love, mahal. I am doing this for you, I am getting stronger and stronger because of you. I love you, Mahal!
Forever grateful for having you three! 💖
Fayye
2018
BSBA
*Confidential School